Storm and Oasis

A couple of years ago I received an unexpected DM from my LinkedIn account (yes, apparently people still have LinkedIn) from Sara Larson, the Executive Director of Awake. I’ve written about Awake before. They are a Catholic non-profit that supports and advocates for survivors of sexual abuse in the Catholic Church.

Sara had reached out to me because of the work I had done about spiritual abuse. We spoke on the phone and immediately I was drawn to Awake’s identity and mission. In my experience, when a Catholic comes forward expressing harm they’ve experienced in/by the Church, they’re often met with one of two reactions. The first is defensiveness of the Church. The second is, “why would you stay in a religion that allows that?”

Some survivors do leave. Some because they’ve found greater belonging and truth outside of the Church. Some because they feel like the Church left them or kicked them out. Those who have left have much to teach the Church, and the Gospels make it clear that Christ is closer to those marginalized by religious leaders than he is to the religious leaders.

But not everyone can or wants to leave. The goodness they’ve experienced in Catholicism is just as real and true as the abuse and betrayal they experienced. Defending the Church means denying the truth of the harm, leaving the Church feels like denying the truth of the goodness. But there are are few places in the Church able to accept both as true at the same time, because the truth can hurt, because the truth challenges and provokes us to repentance and change.

Awake is one of those rare spaces that holds on to all that is true.

Since that first conversation with Sara, I’ve been invited to help facilitate two of Awake’s summer retreats (I briefly wrote about the 2024 retreat here). And while I’ve helped lead dozens of retreats, Awake’s retreats are as rare and special as Awake is.

The theme of the retreat this year was In the Storm. Drawing from the two accounts in Mark’s Gospel of the disciples caught in a storm with Jesus, the retreat used the images of these stories to share about trauma, community, and hope.

And there was a lot of storms to talk about. Survivors shared about the storms of grooming and abuse by predator priests and lay leaders; the storms of betrayal and disbelief by family, friends, and Church leaders; and the storms of the ongoing trauma that directly impacts their lives everyday.

What I witnessed throughout the weekend as each of these storms was believed and held with care by the community, was an oasis, a sacred space built on truth and care. At the very end of the retreat we went around the large group to give everyone a moment to share, and I said that what meant the most to me this retreat was the truth-telling. Nobody had to pretend they were better than they were, more healed than they were, more or less angry at the Church than they were, more or less in love with Christ as they were. Being in that space, in that community, was holy ground.

This year I was invited to write Awake’s official blog post for the retreat. Included in that post are several reflections that survivors wrote and gave us permission to share. Please go check it out:

https://www.awakecommunity.org/blog/i-was-surrounded-by-beauty-and-glimmers-of-hope-and-goodness-reflections-from-awakes-third-annual-survivor-retreat

And please consider financially supporting Awake. There are few organizations or ministries I trust more to use their funds to support the vulnerable and marginalized. Here’s one example: Awake not only offers this retreat for free for survivors, but they also reimburse participants for their travel costs. You can support them here:

https://www.awakecommunity.org/how-you-can-help