Excellent post. Thank you for staying on top of this topic as it continues to be explored in real time. I reposted your article with a longer note to share some of my experiences that illustrate the points you make. Thank you for your attentiveness to the topic of spiritual abuse and the ways in which you raise awareness and help us all reflect on this issue.
I'm at an event this morning during which I will be participating in praying with people, and it's bringing up in me all of the many times when I was prayed with and experienced spiritual manipulation from those praying over me. Another example of how easily spiritual abuse can creep into our spiritual culture and cause damage. And it's almost always from good-intentioned folk. I'm still carrying the damage.
I wonder about the opposite situation too, where emotions are manipulated through spiritual pressure or bypassing, rejected as bad or as evidence of selfishness, especially emotions such as grief or anger, and where people are told by religious authorities that their emotions are evidence of lack of faith/trust in God etc. or of spiritual failures.
I think both "sides" of this need to be really careful, especially in light of a lot of the new, tradition seeking Catholics. They speak of Tenebre services, Lucernarium ceremony, Rorate Caeli Mass....all of these are good within themselves but are still very highly emotive and can be extremely coercive. I know a priest who loves these but whom I also question if he's truly motivated by love or because this gets people in the doors and fired up.
Other commenters are citing things like Lifeteen, which saved my actual life. (to be clear not my soul...) In my experience it was the traditionalist were nearly my ruin. They were the ones to measure hemlines and cite Padre Pio, critique sleeve length with a nod to Our Lady and put religious vocation above marriage. They were the one who put the very efficacy of sacraments and sacramentals as a language-dependent checklist.
I also really, really dislike the "us against them" siege mentality that's brews in those circles. While the phrases you wrote work for bout, I would also add these that were all too common.
"You are needed to save a remnant Church"
"Reverence/beauty is proof that you have found exclusive truth"
"Dislike of this (style of worship) means that you are still too attached to sin"
Very good article Paul! I see youth groups engaged in some of these practices and I am very concerned. When I bring up Lifeteen I get responses "yes but they help so many teenagers that don't have support at home ". Ughh! I met the founder of Lifeteen years ago when I was with the Missionaries of Charity. Phoenix AZ was one of my mission houses and I attended a few Masses with Fr Dale as the presider. He exercised a lot of leeway during the Masses and I observed him coaching the lighting staff for how he wanted the light to shine at certain points. It was not a good end for Fr Dale.
Bravo! Especially in the context of retreats for young people, this is a much needed conversation. Christians of all ages do not talk about the phenomenon, and the dangers, of “retreat highs” enough.
After manipulation and abuse has destroyed the faith of formerly trusting sincerely devout people, a quest to understand what happened can be lifelong. Guardedness is not a bad thing . Even friendships can have elements of cultic control in the name of discipleship I recently cut ties with a person I met in an online Catholic bb because the org was legit I thought she was as well.
What I got was a non-stop being told what God wanted, thought and was saying to me at all times. I was astonished that I fell for it. Point people back to God always. He's speaking to them These types of abusers always have plausible deniability too makes you question you sanity. My test. Peace. Chaos and confusion means something is off
First Epistle to the Corinthians 2:1–5: “When I came to you, brothers and sisters, I did not come proclaiming the mystery of God to you in lofty words or wisdom… My speech and my proclamation were not with plausible words of wisdom, but with a demonstration of the Spirit and power…” (NRSV)
Isn't this a "both/and" situation? The emotional appeal has to be grounded in an intellectually solid foundation. I find that foundation outlined in Roger Haight, S.J., Faith and Evolution: A Grace-Filled Naturalism. The idea is to start out with appreciation of our human existence in this universe and asking why is this amazing creation here rather than nothing. The creator is present and manifest in all of it, but particularly in Jesus of Nazareth. That science and faith consciousness connects everything!
Thank you Paul!
Excellent post. Thank you for staying on top of this topic as it continues to be explored in real time. I reposted your article with a longer note to share some of my experiences that illustrate the points you make. Thank you for your attentiveness to the topic of spiritual abuse and the ways in which you raise awareness and help us all reflect on this issue.
I'm at an event this morning during which I will be participating in praying with people, and it's bringing up in me all of the many times when I was prayed with and experienced spiritual manipulation from those praying over me. Another example of how easily spiritual abuse can creep into our spiritual culture and cause damage. And it's almost always from good-intentioned folk. I'm still carrying the damage.
It can be so subtle. I’m sorry for that spiritual manipulation you experienced
I wonder about the opposite situation too, where emotions are manipulated through spiritual pressure or bypassing, rejected as bad or as evidence of selfishness, especially emotions such as grief or anger, and where people are told by religious authorities that their emotions are evidence of lack of faith/trust in God etc. or of spiritual failures.
I think both "sides" of this need to be really careful, especially in light of a lot of the new, tradition seeking Catholics. They speak of Tenebre services, Lucernarium ceremony, Rorate Caeli Mass....all of these are good within themselves but are still very highly emotive and can be extremely coercive. I know a priest who loves these but whom I also question if he's truly motivated by love or because this gets people in the doors and fired up.
Other commenters are citing things like Lifeteen, which saved my actual life. (to be clear not my soul...) In my experience it was the traditionalist were nearly my ruin. They were the ones to measure hemlines and cite Padre Pio, critique sleeve length with a nod to Our Lady and put religious vocation above marriage. They were the one who put the very efficacy of sacraments and sacramentals as a language-dependent checklist.
I also really, really dislike the "us against them" siege mentality that's brews in those circles. While the phrases you wrote work for bout, I would also add these that were all too common.
"You are needed to save a remnant Church"
"Reverence/beauty is proof that you have found exclusive truth"
"Dislike of this (style of worship) means that you are still too attached to sin"
Very good article Paul! I see youth groups engaged in some of these practices and I am very concerned. When I bring up Lifeteen I get responses "yes but they help so many teenagers that don't have support at home ". Ughh! I met the founder of Lifeteen years ago when I was with the Missionaries of Charity. Phoenix AZ was one of my mission houses and I attended a few Masses with Fr Dale as the presider. He exercised a lot of leeway during the Masses and I observed him coaching the lighting staff for how he wanted the light to shine at certain points. It was not a good end for Fr Dale.
Bravo! Especially in the context of retreats for young people, this is a much needed conversation. Christians of all ages do not talk about the phenomenon, and the dangers, of “retreat highs” enough.
After manipulation and abuse has destroyed the faith of formerly trusting sincerely devout people, a quest to understand what happened can be lifelong. Guardedness is not a bad thing . Even friendships can have elements of cultic control in the name of discipleship I recently cut ties with a person I met in an online Catholic bb because the org was legit I thought she was as well.
What I got was a non-stop being told what God wanted, thought and was saying to me at all times. I was astonished that I fell for it. Point people back to God always. He's speaking to them These types of abusers always have plausible deniability too makes you question you sanity. My test. Peace. Chaos and confusion means something is off
I learned recently that confusion is a key sign of abuse. So yes we definitely have to pay attention to that.
This verse comes to mind .
First Epistle to the Corinthians 2:1–5: “When I came to you, brothers and sisters, I did not come proclaiming the mystery of God to you in lofty words or wisdom… My speech and my proclamation were not with plausible words of wisdom, but with a demonstration of the Spirit and power…” (NRSV)
Isn't this a "both/and" situation? The emotional appeal has to be grounded in an intellectually solid foundation. I find that foundation outlined in Roger Haight, S.J., Faith and Evolution: A Grace-Filled Naturalism. The idea is to start out with appreciation of our human existence in this universe and asking why is this amazing creation here rather than nothing. The creator is present and manifest in all of it, but particularly in Jesus of Nazareth. That science and faith consciousness connects everything!